Once upon a time there was a kingdom where everyone was sad. Their beautiful princess was kidnapped by an evil witch who made her her maid. In her house, the princess had to sweep and wash the floors, brush the cobwebs, cook, chop wood and take care of the animals.
She couldn’t escape because the witch conjured invisible walls around her. The lovely princess got a bump because she hit the wall the very first day she tried to escape. From then on she didn’t try anymore, she cried, begged the witch to let her go, but all was in vain.
The unfortunate fate of Princess Hanelora was told throughout the land like a fairy tale without a happy ending. In one village, it was told while drying hay, where even Honza, the bricklayer’s son, heard it. Honza longed to be a hero and rescue the princess. But beware. Honza was also the talk of the village. But it wasn’t a fairy tale at all. See for yourself what kind of hero Honza could have been:
Honza had eyes so bright and blue,
but he could not see things through.
With ears intact, he came to be,
yet he heard quite poorly, see.
A cold he never caught, not once,
yet he lacked all sense at once.
No taste at all—he ate what came,
at least for food, he had no shame.
His hands were big, and rough as shell
but soft from harsh he ne’er could tell.
Honza had five senses, but they were not very good. But it didn’t bother him. He decided to rescue the princess and set out the next morning. He came to an enchanted forest and got lost. Firstly, because it was an enchanted forest, and secondly, because he couldn’t see properly. And because he couldn’t see straight and he couldn’t see the road, he hit something hard. It was the chicken legs of baba Yaga’s hut
While Honza was trying to recover from the blow, Baba Yaga leaned out of the door.
“Why are you banging on my hut, you cheeky little tyke?” she called to him.
“What? I’m not hanging on anybody’s bat. And I don’t have a bike.”
“Ah, here comes another hero, Baba Yaga, inviting Honza in and putting a compress on his nose.
“What are you doing hanging around the enchanted forest?” Baba Yaga asked loudly so that Honza could hear.
“I want to rescue the princess from the wicked witch. But I got lost.”
“The wicked witch is my sister. She has a tidy house thanks to the princess, while I, well, look! It’s a mess everywhere. And when I asked her if she’d lend me her cleaning lady, she puffed up like a peacock and said she wouldn’t and that I should clean myself. That made me so mad, I’d be happy to give you some advice on how to outsmart her.”
“Thank you, Baba Yaga. What weapon shall I use on her? A fork?”
“Oh no, weapons, they’re useless,” Baba Yaga waved her hand. “My sister takes fond in giving people tasks. If you complete them, she will lose her power and hand the princess over to you. But you can hardly accomplish anything. The mighty witch knows very well who is coming to her, she will surely prepare tasks that you will not be able to fulfill.”
“I want to be a hero. I’m sure I’ll accomplish them. Look, I’m strong, with pretty blue eyes, clean ears, a nose like a button, a mouth like a crescent moon, and hands strong and calloused from work.”
Baba Yaga thought.
“I know now what you need. You need five groundhogs.”
Baba Yaga prepared a bag and began to work her magic over it.
Honza wondered for a moment if he had misheard. Did she say five groundhogs?
“But Baba Yaga, you got it wrong! Five senses is what I need, not five groundhogs!”
But by then, Baba Yaga was pulling groundhogs out of the bag one by one. She pulled out five of them and sat them on the table in front of Honza.
“Here they are. And you’d better hurry before the wicked witch finds out you’ve been to my place for help.”
And before Honza could object, Baba Yaga pushed him and the groundhogs out the door, slammed it shut, and turned to the other side along with the hut.
Honza shrugged his shoulders and set off through the woods with his magical gift of five groundhogs.
“If only I could see the road better. It’s getting dark and I think I’m lost again,” Honza grumbled under his beard.
Suddenly one of the groundhogs jumped in front of Honza and spoke in a human voice: “I am Keeneye, I have a gift of vision and I can see perfectly. If I look through the forest, I can see everything beyond it.”
“Look, buddy, can you see the path to the Wicked Witch?”
The groundhog looked in the direction of the trees for a moment and then he said: “I know the way. Follow me, I’ll lead you there.”
Soon Honza found the hut where the wicked witch lived.
“So you would like to rescue the princess? First you must do the three tasks I’ll give you. And if you don’t, you’ll become my servant and chop wood until you become a log yourself.”
“What? Become a frog?”
“Forget it,” the witch grumbled angrily, wringing her hands and continuing: “Hear the first task. There’s mashed potatoes on twenty plates ready for you. My cook forgot to salt one. Your job is to taste each mash and find the one that is unsalted.”
Honza scooped the mash from the first plate onto his finger and tasted it. But he didn’t smell anything special.
“Maybe you should wash your hands first. This way everything will taste salty, like your dirty knuckles,” the witch grinned, but her hands weren’t much cleaner herself. Finally, she handed Honza the spoon and left.
“If only I had the sense of taste and could tell which porridge was unsalty,” sighed Honza.
Then the other groundhog came in front of him and spoke in a human voice.
“I’m Chomper, the fussiest groundhog in the world. I’ll taste the porridge and tell you which one is unsalty.”
The groundhog quickly went around all the plates so no one would notice. He stamped his paw on one pile of porridge and hid under the table.
“This is it!” exclaimed Honza.
The wicked witch immediately ran up and was surprised that he had guessed so easily.
“Maybe you were just lucky. Listen to the second task. A rock elf lives in a cave not far from here. Inside he has a pile of treasures, but it is terribly dark. Between the gold and the stones you can find the princess’s soft bow in his hair. Go there. When you hear the elf singing, it means that he is not guarding his treasures at the moment. At that moment, go in there and find the bow by feel. And bring it to me.”
Honza reached the cave and sighed:
“If only I could hear better when the elf sings.”
Then a third groundhog jumped in front of him and spoke in a human voice.
“I am a Whisqueak and I can even hear Baba Yaga snoring at the other end of the forest. I will give you a sign that the elf is singing and you can go.”
“But that won’t help. How can I tell a bow from a stone in the dark?”
Then a fourth groundhog jumped in and also spoke in a human voice.
“I am Feelypaw. I have very sensitive paws and I can tell a stone from a bow even if I’m blindfolded. I will go in your place and bring the bow.”
A moment later, Honza was standing in front of the wicked witch and showing her the princess’s bow.
“Well, you were lucky again, you scoundrel. But wait! I have prepared a third task for you in the meantime. And you definitely won’t fulfill that one. Look,” said the witch and pointed to the meadow in front of the hut.
There were ten princesses standing on the grass. They were all the same, very similar to each other.
“Tell me which princess is the right one and you can leave,” croaked the witch and started laughing.
Honza walked around, but all the princesses were exactly the same. Then a fifth groundhog appeared at his feet and spoke in a human voice.
“I am Sniff. And I will recognize your princess by her smell. Show me the bow.”
Honza showed the bow to the groundhog, Sniff sniffed it and set off among the princesses. He hummed something about the scent of roses in the royal garden. Honza followed him and watched as the groundhog carefully sniffed each princess. Finally, he stopped at one and winked at Honza.
“This is her! She smells like the rose flowers that bloom in the royal garden,” exclaimed Honza, pointing to the princess.
At that moment, the other princesses disappeared and the wicked witch became angry.
“You couldn’t have been so lucky! Tell me, you deceiver, how come you can feel, see and hear? All those tales about you were lies!”
“Maybe they lied, maybe they didn’t, but the princess is mine and you should find a new cleaning lady, you old hag.”
And so Honza saved the princess and became a hero. The princess liked him very much, after all he always ate what she cooked for him, and he always liked it (or at least he never complained), Honza could also listen to her talking about beautiful dresses for hours and he didn’t even mind when she overdid it with the perfume. But the groundhogs didn’t like it and didn’t want to live with the princess. They returned to Baba Yaga. Honza thanked them and in return renamed his newly acquired kingdom Groundhogville.
And the wicked witch? She had to clean up after herself. And because she was lazy and forgot the cleaning spell, the mess eventually got the better of her and she got completely lost in it. No one ever saw her again, and that was a good thing, because she could no longer harm anyone.
